To Happily Ever After
by Dragonfly-Moonlight
Summary: Story 5 in Life's Circumstances. Speed and Trixie are reunited once more, but life has never been about smooth sailing.
1. Chapter 1

Recommended Music for this chapter: Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) by Meat Loaf

* * *

Outside, a chill wind howled and beat against the windows. Speed groaned and buried his head under the pillows. Since he, Torie, Ryan, and Trixie had arrived with the kids back in Philadelphia, it had been snowing and blowing non-stop. The roads were just barely passable for driving, the sidewalks had become ice, all of which made it nearly impossible to go over to Ryan and Torie's to visit his children. What made the situation worse was his back. It ached, more so than what it usually did, the cold compounding his situation. The door to his room opening and closing caught his attention, and he peered out from underneath his pillow. Next to his bed stood Trixie, Jake balanced on her hips. 

"Speed? Are you all right?" she inquired, a concerned frown upon her lips. He unburied his head and nodded.

"Yeah. I'm fine. The weather's just not agreeing with me," he smiled faintly. She sat next to him on the bed, a hand brushing against his forehead.

"Is that all?"

"Other than wanting to see my kids? Yeah . . ." he trailed off.

"I wish there was something I could do to help," Trixie offered, smiling a little.

"You mean aside from doing a snow-go-away dance?" Speed chuckled, finally sitting up. "There isn't anything, Trixie. Until the weather clears up, I'll just have to content myself with talking with them over the speaker phone."

Trixie's smile warmed a little as he reached out and took Jake from her. Once he had the toddler situated in his lap, he reached out to her, inviting her to join him. They sat like that for a few moments, Trixie resting against his shoulder and Jake resting against his chest.

"Speed . . ."

"Yeah, Trixie?"

"What exactly does Torie mean to you?" she whispered. She lifted her head so that her eyes met his.

"How do you mean, Trixie?" he blinked.

"I mean . . ." she paused then took a deep breath. "I mean, is there anything left between you? I know that Ryan's back and she's with him but . . . if he hadn't come back . . . what do you think would have happened between the two of you?"

"Nothing," he replied, his turn to frown. "Why are you asking me this, Trixie?"

"I don't know," she confessed. "It just seems that . . . since you have two children with her . . . I mean, I know you two had loved each other at one point, still do even . . . I guess I'm just wondering what chance I would have, knowing that."

"And being silly," Speed told her. "Trixie, I know what Mom and Pops have told you about my relationship with Torie, but I can tell you this. We broke up because I was never completely over you and she wasn't over Ryan. In fact, she was the one who decided to call it off. And it wasn't because of anything that I had done . . ." His voice softened. "It was because she loved him and still wanted him. She wanted to live with a memory rather than with someone who was right there. There wasn't anything that they hadn't done together. And to be honest, I was kind of relieved because I knew I wasn't over you. I didn't know where you were at but I was still holding out that you would come back to me. And you have."

"So you wouldn't have gone back to her after a while, even I hadn't returned?" she ventured. "She has done a lot for you, Speed, especially after your accident. That's more than what I can say I would have been able to do."

"No," he shook his head. "I wouldn't have, Trixie. And what she's done for me . . . Yes, I'm very grateful to her for that. I'm very glad that I met her when I did. Otherwise, I don't know what I would have done. I mean, I can't race anymore. And, at one point, that was nearly my entire world."

"I know," Trixie smiled. "Which is why I'm surprised you're saying that, if Ryan and I hadn't come back, you wouldn't have gone back to Torie. I know I would have supported you in whatever you had decided to do after the accident but I wouldn't have pushed you in the directions that she did."

"She didn't really push," Speed chuckled. "More like encouraged me to test the waters . . . see if there was anything else out there that I liked."

"Again, something more than what I would have been able to," she murmured softly, averting her gaze from him to Jake.

Speed watched her for a moment before kissing her on the forehead."Don't worry about it anymore, Trixie," he stated softly. "Just be thankful that we're back together again. And we have our lives ahead of us."

She laughed a little at that.

"Yes," she nodded. "Yes, we do. I wonder how Ryan and Torie are holding up in this weather . . . I got the impression she doesn't like snow very much."

"That would be an understatement!" Speed declared, snickering. "But she did go outside with the kids to make snowmen and pull them around on sleds. Enough about Torie, though. I'm hungry. Are you hungry, Jake?"

At the toddler's toothy grin, Speed chuckled again and hauled himself out of bed, keeping a firm grip on Jake as he did so. Trixie had brought up some valid concerns on her part, points Speed hadn't even considered. After everything she'd been through with having been married once before to being raped and pregnant, he understood why she'd have doubts, especially about someone like Torie.

'But I'm with Trixie now. Not Torie,' he told himself. 'And Torie's with Ryan. That should make it possible for us to live happily ever after, right?'

The answer to that question, he didn't know.


	2. Chapter 2

Trixie sighed softly as she tiptoed out of Speed's bedroom and down the stairs. She had just tucked Speed and Jake in for an afternoon snooze, which gave her a small amount of free time. Speed's back had been killing him all morning long – he'd taken some Ibupropin and a muscle relaxer – and it had Trixie worried. When they had stayed in Michigan at his parents house, she'd never seen him take any drugs to alleviate any pain, not even for a headache. Of course, Torie had been there.

'And _that_ is the determining factor right there,' she thought grimly as she strode down the stairs. 'Torie. She gave him a couple of back rubs while we were there. And since he hasn't been able to see her or the kids since we got back . . .'

She let the thought trail off then sighed. Even though he had denied it and had gone out of his way to reassure her, Trixie couldn't help but feel that there was still something between the blonde-haired woman and Speed. They had two children together, after all, and Torie had been there for the roughest part of his life. She, on the other hand, had done the selfish thing and had taken off to parts unknown in an effort to "find herself." Of course, she felt that, if there was anything left between Torie and Speed, it was on Speed's part. At least, that was the impression she was working from.

'Only one way to know for sure . . .'

Taking a deep breath, Trixie went into the living room, picked up the phone and hit the speed-dial button for Torie. As it started to ring, she sat down on the couch.

_"Hello?"_

"Hello, Torie," she began. "This is Trixie."

_"Oh, hey Trixie. How are things going?"_

"They're good," she answered. "Speed's back, though, has been giving him some trouble today, more so than usual . . . He finally took some Ibupropin and a muscle relaxer about half an hour ago . . . How are the kids?"

_"Taking a nap,"_ Torie chuckled. _"Ryan's outside, salting the porch and walkway. We should be able to get to the mailbox today!"_

"That's great. I'm glad to hear that . . ."

_"What's wrong, Trixie? Aside from Speed's back hurting him."_

"What makes you think there's something wrong, Torie?"

_"Call it a hunch,"_ the other woman replied. _"After all, you're probably the only one that I know of that would even talk cordially to her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend."_

"That predictable, am I?" Trixie smiled weakly to herself.

_"A little,"_ Torie agreed. _"So what's wrong, sweetie?"_

"I've been thinking . . ." she paused for a moment, unsure of what to say next. She didn't want to sound rude to the woman. Torie had always gone out of her way to help her and hadn't even held it against her for taking a sojourn. Not many girls could say that had that understanding with former girlfriends.

_"About?"_ came the prompt.

"You and Speed," she sighed. "I've been thinking about what it is that you two shared and what you still share and it just feels like I have nothing to compete with. . . Anyway, I asked him this earlier now I want to hear it from you . . . What does Speed mean to you?"

For a moment, Torie didn't speak and Trixie thought that she might have hung up the phone. Then Torie let out a sigh.

_"I'll be honest with you, Trixie. I did love Speed. I truly did. He's a great guy. Funny, smart, determined, and ambitious . . . not something you can find in most guys around that age."_ Torie drew a deep breath. _"He's the father of two of my children and has been a stepfather to my oldest. That's more than what any woman could ever hope for. But he's a friend, Trixie. Nothing more than that. That's all we_ can _be, really. I just couldn't really bring myself to _love him _love him."_

"That's all you can be?" Trixie blinked. In the background, she thought she heard a microwave beeping then the door being opened but she couldn't be sure. Torie was a walking bundle of energy or it could have been Ryan fixing himself something to drink to warm himself up. She just wasn't sure and she didn't think of it being important. Why she had noticed, she couldn't even say.

_"Yes . . . I like Speed but I don't love him anymore. Not the way that I should have."_

"What happened to you to change all of that?" she whispered. "I know of a lot of girls who would have given anything to be you during that time. Who'd have given anything to be me back then and be me now."

_"Oh, I know. But to follow a cliche'? I fell out of love,"_ Torie stated, her tone slightly saddened. _"Terrible of me to say, considering two children were borne out of this relationship, but it's true."_

"Was it because of Mom and Pops and Spritle? I know they couldn't have taken to you so quickly." Trixie wrapped the cord around her fingers as she spoke. A nervous habit she'd picked up from somewhere but couldn't recall.

_"No, they didn't. And they let me know, too. I mean, Richard and Spritle constantly kept comparing us. I kept hearing, 'Well Trixie did this and Trixie did that,' but that's something I could deal with,"_ Torie giggled a little. _"And I know Rachel had her problems with me as well but she never went out of her way to compare me to you. She was more worried about the fact that I was an older woman, who should have been dating older men. Dealing with them . . . That was the easy part of the relationship. No . . . they weren't the reason why I fell out of love and broke up with Speed."_

"Speed told me it was because you were still in love with Ryan and this was before you even knew that he was still alive," Trixie commented.

_"There was that,"_ Torie admitted. _"And I'll admit I did tell Speed that, but it wasn't the whole reason. I didn't tell Speed this and I won't tell him, but a small portion of it was Rex."_

"What about Rex?" She straightened her back, her attention now on the woman on the other end. Of course, she knew that Rex had revealed himself as being Racer X and had come home sometime after Speed's accident. She just hadn't been told _when_.

_"Rex wanted to date me and had made it known shortly after we had met . . ."_

"When did you two meet?"

_"Around the same time that Speed came out of his coma . . . At the time, he was wearing that mask and going by the alias of Racer X. After Speed had told me about that incident with that one racing team . . . the Alpha Racing team . . . I became slightly suspicious and began to take a closer look at him . . . When he revealed himself to me, I told him it was about damn time he took that mask off but he wouldn't listen to me when I told him that he had to tell his family. It took him six months and a single nudge from my best friend, Sheena, to get him to contact his family."_ Torie paused then took a sip of something. _"I never was comfortable with that or the fact that he never really seemed to stop thinking that one day he and I would get together. That was part of the reason why his relationship with Sheena was so short-lived. She got tired of him pining over me."_

"Are things okay between you and Sheena?" she nearly cried out in alarm. She hated to think that a friendship might have been ruined or nearly ruined because of one man.

_"Oh yeah,"_ Torie reassured her. _"She never blamed me for anything when it came to Rex. After all, it was his decision to hold himself back from her and she knew it. She knew that I didn't ask for Rex to fall in love with me and that I would never commit myself so quickly to another guy, not after the fact that Ryan had been declared dead."_

"That's good," Trixie breathed. "So Rex being in love with you was the problem?"

_"No."_

"No?"

_"No,"_ Torie reaffirmed. _"My problem with Rex was the fact that he constantly reminded me about Ryan and started comparing Ryan with his own brother, though it didn't last too long. I said it once before. Speed and Ryan do look a little alike but not_ that _much alike. Speed has no Japanese in him whatsoever and Ryan does. You can see it in Ryan."_

"I can't believe he did that . . ."

_"In a way, I can. He was jealous and, at first, he had a hard time dealing with it. But it didn't last long, like I said, and he got over it. Not in time to patch things up with Sheena but he did eventually find someone new."_

"Sierra," Trixie said.

_"Right. But Rex was only a small part of the problem. The rest of it was with me,"_ Torie sighed.

"How so?" Trixie tilted her head.

_"You remember Jack?"_

"That really hot blonde-haired guy that lived in California for a while?"

_"Yeah."_

"Yeah, I remember him," Trixie nodded.

_"Well, he said something to me . . . something that got me to thinking,"_ Torie began slowly. _"And it was something that I hadn't thought of before. Mind you, this was just before I found out I was pregnant with Mackenzie. Granted, that knowledge changed nothing in the long run."_

"What did he say, Torie?"

_"He told me I wasn't doing a very good job of thinking, that I wasn't being truly fair to myself or to my kids. That all of us had not done a very good job of thinking or being fair to ourselves. . . We'd been blinded by grief and loss . . ."_

"Everyone was missing Ryan . . ."

_"We were and that was the main reason why Speed had been accepted at first by my group of friends. I mean, they still like him, Trixie, but it's now for who he is and not who he isn't. But that wasn't what Jack was pointing out. He was pointing out my children . . . specifically, he was pointing out Little Ryan."_

"Pointing out Little Ryan? I don't understand . . ."

_"For nearly six years, Little Ryan grew up with the knowledge that his real daddy that he had wasn't around, that he wasn't coming back. No one knew about the mistake. No one could have known. But he knew that there was this guy, who looked_ like _his daddy, and who was helping his mommy take care of him. And it was confusing him,"_ Torie let out a deep breath then continued. _"I'll be the first to tell you, Trixie, things were not that golden between me and Speed by the time we split. I don't think he was quite ready to be a daddy when he truly became one. It was one thing to help a woman raise another man's child than it is to raise your own. For as much as he loves Little Ryan, he didn't have much of a say in what I did. It was something we had butted heads on a couple of times and something I had butted heads with Richard about. In some ways, I felt like what I wanted for my son didn't matter. Then Little Greg came along and things changed. Things changed drastically. Finally, he had a say in what would happen in a child's life,_ his _child's life and it changed_ him_. Suddenly, he had all of these worries to deal with, worries he wasn't ready for. Not that he's been a bad father to the kids, Trixie. He _hasn't _been. But Little Greg wasn't planned, not like Little Ryan, and it makes a very big difference in how prepared you are for the birth of a child. It really frazzled him and had started to wear him out."_

"Don't I know that very well," Trixie murmured. "Is Little Greg the reason why you started falling out of love with Speed?"

_"No. Even though parenthood has changed Speed, the kids are not the reason why I fell out of love with him. I fell out of love with Speed . . ."_

"Yes?"

_"I fell out of love with Speed because I had never fallen out of love with Ryan. I could never truly love Speed the way that he should have been loved by the mother of his children. I had to re-examine myself, Trixie, and it wasn't easy. It was heart-wrenching. I had to decide whether I wanted to make the relationship work or if I wanted to live the rest of my life on my own, with a memory, and raising my kids in a separated household. Given towards the end that neither Speed or I were truly happy being together, I decided to end it. The memory of how Ryan and I had been was enough to sustain me. I know I would have been able to make it on my own if he had truly died six years ago. That's how much I loved him. How much I still love him. I'm at my happiest when I think of him."_

Torie's voice had softened and Trixie thought she heard tears in the older woman's voice. Hell, she felt tears welling in her eyes at the blonde's words. What Torie had said about her feelings towards Ryan was nothing short of an echo of her own feelings towards Speed and how she'd felt about her brief marriage to Taylor. And Torie had been through hell. Ryan had been declared dead after being broadsided by a drunk driver. Speed had only been missing for a year. And though Speed's words had reassured her, Torie's words had the weight and meaning to them that somehow Speed's had lacked. And she didn't blame him for that. Trixie knew that, to Speed, it was obvious there was nothing left between him and Torie.

"I'm so glad that Ryan's not dead, Torie," she whispered. "I truly am. It really is a miracle."

_"I know, sweetie. Thank you."_

"What were things like for you and Ryan?" she inquired, her heart suddenly racing with excitement. "How did you two end up getting together? And how are things going now?"

On the other end, she heard Torie laughing.

_"Not one to waste time asking, are you, Trixie?"_

"Guess not," she chuckled.

_"I can tell you this much, Trixie. He didn't like me and it was only after I had unknowingly earned his trust that he came out and told me that. We were friends first. We still are. It's like . . . it's like he was never gone. Despite having been in a coma for four years, he's still the same broody, artistic guy that I met and fell in love with ten years ago. He's a gentle soul and I couldn't have asked to have met a better guy than him. Whenever I think of him, I smile and I just want to let the whole world how happy he makes me and how much I love him. He is my one true love. You have that, too, Trixie. I know you do."_

"It's going to take me a long time to get to where you and Ryan are," she murmured. "Right now, I'm not sure where things really stand."

_"Then listen to me, Trixie. Listen to me carefully. Okay?"_

"Okay . . ." she hesitated. She couldn't help but wonder where Torie was going with this conversation. The woman had an uncanny knack of being unpredictable.

_"I want you to tell me if this is how you feel about Speed . . . 'I wanna be right by you . . . in a city full of wrong way signs. I wanna be right by you. I wanna be wrapped in your mind. I wanna be right by you right now. Wanna be right by you right now.'"_

"Yes," she replied without hesitation.

_"Then you know where things stand,"_ Torie stated. _"It's now up to you to show Speed just how much you want to be with him. Believe it or not, there's nothing wrong with buying a guy chocolates and flowers. In fact, in Japan, it's custom for the girls to give the guys gifts on Valentine's Day without a reply back until White Day, which I believe is in March. So tell me . . . what are you going to do now?"_

"I'm going to show my man just how much I really love him."

_"Good . . . Now, if you'll excuse me, it looks like_ my _man has blue lips and I need to warm them up,"_ Torie nearly cackled, causing Trixie's eyes to widen and her cheeks to blush. To hear an older woman laugh like that about her man . . . _"We'll see you guys later. Bye!"_

"Bye . . ." She stared at the phone in her hand then shook her head. Torie had proven once again that she was completely something else.


	3. Chapter 3

Recommended Music for this chapter: Eternal Flame by the Bangles

* * *

"My man has blue lips?" Ryan echoed with a chuckle. "And what was _that_ supposed to mean?" 

Torie smiled at him as she placed the phone back in the receiver. His cheeks were slightly flushed, his nose almost as red as her Coke can. She sauntered over to him, her arms snaking underneath his jacket.

"It means," she purred, "that it's one of many excuses I'll give just to kiss you."

"Since when did you need an excuse?" he winked then leaned in, their lips touching lightly. "So what did Trixie want?"

"Since I wanted to have one," she pouted. "And I'd ask how you knew it was Trixie . . ."

"I heard the name Speed in the conversation," he chuckled. "Figured it had to be her wanting something. Advice or a recipe . . ."

"Actually, she just wanted to know where things stood between me and Speed," she sighed, wriggling to get underneath the jacket. "Told her some things that I had never told him. That's all."

"I see," he murmured, nuzzling her nose. "Reassuring the insecure girlfriend, as usual. Strange, really, considering you're the _ex_-girlfriend now."

"You know me," she smiled.

"Surprisingly enough, especially considering how much you've changed."

"But I haven't changed that much, Ryan. I'm still the same annoying woman you met all those years ago."

Torie gazed at him, her fingers idly playing with his hair. Her smile had softened and her expression saddened. Six years was a lot of time for him to lose. And he'd missed a lot. The birth of their son, his first words, his first steps . . . Granted, she had video and pictures of everything but it just wasn't the same. She understood why he'd say something like that.

"How is that, after all of this time, you still love me, Torie?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I just . . . do. No one has ever made me feel the way that you have. And, when I was honest with myself, I realized that it was still there. That it would always be there. How or why, I can't say."

"But you can say that you still love me. Right?"

"More than what I can ever say or do, Ryan. I always have . . . and I always will. Something about you brings out the best in me."

She leaned against him, holding onto him tight. His arms wrapped around her and his chin rested on the top of her head.

"And you in me . . . I'm just so glad to have you back," he whispered. "I don't know what I would have done if you and Speed had gotten married . . . how did you two end up together anyway?"

"When I was living at Bank Street Court, I let him move in," she replied. "He'd been accepted to U. Penn and I figured it would be better if he lived in an actual apartment instead of the dorms."

"Because of his accident?"

"Yeah . . . he still needed to use a wheelchair from time to time. Granted, Richard didn't like the idea but . . ."

"Hm, guess that's what he gets for raising a determined kid," Ryan commented then chuckled. "Can't say that I blame Speed for wanting to test the waters. His parents are something else, especially his father."

"Well, if it hadn't been for Trixie leaving him, it wouldn't have happened. He'd still be racing."

"Maybe," Ryan shrugged. "Something might have changed it. You know how racing can be."

"Yeah . . . You know, the strange thing is, before he was released from the hospital and went back to Farmington Hills, he'd had this dream . . . It was about you."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah . . . It was really weird, Ryan. Somehow, you knew about the baby and told him . . ."

"When I didn't even know about the baby before I'd been declared dead, right?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I know I hadn't told him about being pregnant and neither had anyone else. There was no way for him to know. In a way, I felt like I had a connection with him."

"Makes sense . . . And I can't blame you for giving something a try. You've always been a bit of a daredevil. Time definitely hasn't changed that about you. But I never thought I'd see the blue and purple stripes disappear. What's up with that?"

"Haven't been in the mood to do much of anything with it," she sighed. "But then we never know what tomorrow might bring."

"Ah yes," he chuckled. "The mood thing."

"Yes. The mood thing. Now how about something hot to drink. Still like French roast coffee with a hint of vanilla creme?"

"More than anything."

"Good," she replied. "The kids are asleep and should be for a while longer yet. We could watch a movie . . ."

"Or curl up on the couch and read a book together?" he finished.

"Whatever it is that you want to do."

"I think I'd like to . . ." He then leaned in to whisper in her ear. Torie chuckled at his suggestion.

"We can definitely do that!"

888888888

Speed awoke with a groan. His back still ached but not as bad as it had in the morning. Yawning, he pushed himself up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Jake, at some point, had gotten out of the bed and left the room. The toddler didn't sleep much during the day.

'Much like my own kids,' he mused. 'I wonder how they're doing.'

Stretching his back out, Speed then got to his feet and headed downstairs, to the kitchen. Cinnamon wafted up to him as he went, tantalizing his mouth. He entered the kitchen to see Trixie handing Jake a cookie.

"Something smells good," he observed, smiling. Trixie glanced up and grinned back.

"Snicker doodles," she replied. "I got the recipe online a few years ago. Want one?"

"Sure," he nodded, taking a cookie from her outstretched hand. "How's the weather been?"

"Good. It's stopped snowing but the wind . . . still nasty," she shivered. "I've got the porch and the walkway salted, though. I'll head out to get the sidewalk in a bit."

"When did you get those salted?" he frowned as he poured himself a glass of milk.

"While you and Jake took a nap."

"Oh . . . better call Torie then, find out how the kids are doing . . ." He reached for the phone. If the sidewalks were passable then he'd be able to see his kids.

"She's not home, Speed."

"What?" he blinked then turned his head towards her. Her cheeks were slightly pink.

"She's not home. The roads are now clear. Trucks have gone by several times with the dirt and salt. Before I came back in, I saw Ryan and Torie getting the kids in their car then take off."

"Oh . . . then I better check the voice mail, see if she called while you were outside . . ."

"She didn't, Speed," Trixie stated. "They drove by the house and stopped for a minute. All she told me was that they were going for a drive and that she'd call as soon as they got back. Even told me that she'd bring Jake a treat once they were home."

Speed closed his eyes and fought back a sigh. Everything Trixie had been asking him that morning came back. Maybe he wasn't as over Torie as he thought he was. Sure, they had agreed to go their separate ways, that they'd always be friends and be there for their children, and he had to admit to himself that it hadn't hurt him that much when she wanted to call it off. After all, he'd always loved Trixie and had hoped beyond all hope that the petite brunette would return to him. But Torie . . . she'd prepared herself for a life with only the children living with her. No one else. She'd said that she was getting too old to be out hunting for a man to be in her life and her friends had already settled down. He hadn't expected the one man she'd loved more than life itself to return to her.

'Maybe that's the problem,' he thought. 'Maybe . . . just maybe I'm not as over her as I thought I was . . . or maybe I just expected her to always be there . . . I certainly did expect her and Ryan to start acting like a couple of lovesick puppies.'

"Speed? Are you all right?"

"Yeah," he smiled faintly. "I'm all right."

"You sure?"

"Yeah . . . I guess I just wasn't expecting this kind of an outcome."

"How do you mean?"

"I mean with Torie," he murmured. "I guess when we parted ways, I just expected her to always be there . . . especially after she said she wasn't going to date anyone anymore."

"But that isn't the case anymore, is it?"

"No," he shook his head. "It isn't. Ryan's back . . ."

She reached him within a moment and rested a hand on his shoulder. Gently, Trixie gave him a reassuring squeeze.

"Yes. He's back. There isn't anything anyone can do to change that. Just like no one can change the fact that _I'm_ back. You know Torie would want you to be happy, Speed, and I'm sure you want her to be happy, too."

"I do. I do want her to be happy . . ."

"Then be thankful that he is alive and with Torie. They're moving forward with their lives. Just as we should. I'm going to finish salting the sidewalk. When I come back in, there's something I want to talk to you about, okay?"

"Yeah . . . Sure. That's fine," he agreed. She kissed his cheek then left the kitchen. He heard her in the hallway as she got into the coat closet and dressed herself for the bitter cold outside. Once the door had opened and closed, he sank into a chair.

"I just never thought I'd feel like I've been replaced," he sighed. Morosely, he finished his milk and snicker doodle then took Jake into the living room to watch some TV, the weather a reflection of his glum mood.


	4. Chapter 4

Recommended Music: Something That You Said by the Bangles

* * *

Trixie stared broodily out the living room window. Around her were the sounds of children laughing together and playing. The world had been covered in a blanket of snow a few days before. Normally, the pristine white was tinged with dirt and salt but, for some reason, the snow managed to remain clean and white. 

'Better than how _I'm_ feeling,' she thought sourly.

"Here," a voice stated. She glanced up to see Torie, messy hair and all, behind her and holding out a steaming mug. "Some coffee."

"Coffee? But I don't normally . . ."

"I know, dear," Torie winked. "But it isn't _just_ coffee. This is French Vanilla cappuccino. No sugar or cream needed. Try some. You might just like it."

"That may be," Trixie conceded, taking the proffered mug. "But I doubt it'll help fix any of my problems."

"You never know," the blonde said enigmatically. "After all, the third time I'd seen Ryan, it was on a coffee break."

"Were you drinking coffee?"

"No, but he was," she chuckled, perching herself in the window counterpane. "I tend to prefer sodas over coffee but every now and then, the mood hits me. So don't underestimate the powers of coffee and other highly caffeinated products. Now come on. Tell me what's up. Why are you here and not with Speed?"

"He's taking care of something with Pops and Sparky," the brunette replied vaguely. "I just had to get out of there, get some air or something."

"I see . . . Hey, you know you can talk to me about anything. What's really bothering you? If I recall from all the times Speed talked about you, you loved racing. What gives?"

Trixie hesitated. She knew that she could tell Torie if something was bothering her. After all, she'd been able to before.

'But how would she feel if I told her that _she's_ the reason why I feel so bothered? No,' she mentally shook her head. 'No. It isn't Torie bothering me. I wouldn't be here if that were true. It's _Speed's_ feelings towards her that have been bothering me.'

"To be honest with you, I don't like the way he's been acting since I've come back," Trixie confessed. "It's always, 'I should call Torie and see how the kids are doing,' or 'I wonder how Torie and the kids are doing.' Don't get me wrong on this, please. I don't mind him wanting to check on his children. As a mother, I can relate to how he feels and I wouldn't mind it so much if he would just leave your name out of it."

"Are you jealous or just annoyed?" Torie inquired.

"Both," she sighed. "I've never liked it when Speed paid attention to other girls and I wasn't always very good at hiding it. But I've tried to make an exception with you. You were there for Speed when I wasn't."

"But that isn't an excuse for him to still be attached to me?" Torie offered.

"No," Trixie sighed again and shook her head. "The attachment I can understand. You've always been a help to him and you still are. I can understand that and I can appreciate it. It's . . . it's . . . I don't know how to describe it. It's like he's still wanting you after he's told me there was nothing left. I don't want to compete with a memory."

"Wow . . . I think you summed it up rather well," Torie murmured. "And I can't say I blame you. I just wouldn't have expected this, especially out of Speed. I mean, for the longest time, before he started school, all he could do was talk about you and how great you were and how he wished you were there with him."

"Did he do that while you were dating him?" Trixie narrowed her eyes. She knew that she wouldn't like to be compared to an ex-girlfriend and she didn't think Torie would, either. Of course, Trixie also reasoned that Torie wouldn't stand up for it. The woman had a very strong will.

"Oh hell no," she laughed. "When we were dating, it was 'What _didn't_ you and Ryan do?' He didn't want to compete with a memory so he constantly wanted to know what it was that Ryan and I had done together and what we hadn't. A downfall to dating an older woman, I guess."

"What hadn't you and Ryan done?"

"Get married."

"But you were engaged," Trixie frowned. "I saw your engagement picture in the paper."

"And I was in no hurry to get married to Speed, either, at that point," Torie paused then focused brown eyes on her. "I know what your problem is, Trixie."

"Me? Have a problem?" She felt her blood boil at those words. Torie nodded.

"Yep. _You_ have a problem, and it's causing a conflict within you. Speed has a problem, too, and it's causing a conflict within him. Oddly enough, there is no solution for your problem while there is one for Speed's."

"Oh? And why's that?" Trixie inquired, a little heat in her voice.

"You've grown up," Torie answered, her expression becoming somber. "You took the time to deal with what was bothering you six years ago. Granted, you were running away from a rather nasty situation but you were also unsure of what it was that you wanted in your life. You knew that you wanted Speed back but couldn't face him just yet. You went on a journey to figure everything out. And you've become a stronger person for it."

"Oh." Trixie felt her anger leaving her. "And that's my problem? I've grown up?"

"Not just grown up, luv, but have also come full circle. Your road has led you back to the one you love the most. Speed, however, hasn't completely dealt with everything. The break-up with you, the accident, the break-up with me . . . and I don't know what to do to help him. In some ways, it's like he doesn't like rejection. He doesn't like to lose."

"No," Trixie murmured. "He's never liked to lose, not to anyone in anything . . ." She took a drink of her coffee, noting that the older woman had been right. It wasn't _just_ coffee. "Torie . . ."

"Yeah?"

"Do you think it's possible that Speed thought you'd always be there? I mean, since Ryan had been believed to be dead?"

"Dunno," she shrugged. "It's possible. I know I hadn't been expecting it."

"But it was the best Christmas gift you've had in years?" Trixie winked.

"Absolutely," Torie breathed, an odd light glowing in her brown eyes. Trixie found herself smiling, in spite of how she'd been feeling moments ago. She knew that look, had probably had it on her face a few times whenever she'd thought of Speed. The woman was in love.

"I said it once before and I'll say it again. I'm glad Ryan's back, Torie, and that he's with you. To live happily ever after."

"No such thing as happily ever after, Trixie. Never has been. Never will be."

"Why do you say that?" she blinked.

"Because happily ever after is reserved for fairy tales and movies, and I never wanted a fairy tale ending for the romance and love of my life. I never wanted my life to play out like a movie, and I've never been one for cliches. But I'll tell you what I will settle for."

"And what's that?"

"To just live with Ryan until the end of my days, come what may. That's all we can really hope for."

"But happily ever after is the ultimate," Trixie argued quietly, being mindful of little ears. "How can you not want a happily ever after? Isn't that what everyone aims for?"

"I just don't," Torie replied. "And you forget. I'm not like everyone else. Besides, life can't always be about happily ever after. There'll always be sad times and rough patches. Granted, the good times always overshadow the sad and the rough, but that's what life has always been about, something the fairy tales never tell you. After all, you never know when a frog is really a prince or when a prince is an ogre," the blonde smiled softly.

"Are you saying I shouldn't go for happily ever after?"

"No," Torie shook her head. "If you want happily ever after, go for it. What I want and what you want are two different things. Just don't wish a happily ever after for me, kay?"

"Okay," she nodded, smiling.

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He didn't know what had possessed him to walk in front of the house and head for the front door. Fresh air, he had told himself, but, as he stared at the two woman in the living room window, Ryan found himself smiling. He needed no one to tell him how lucky he'd been to have the one woman whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. It had been something he'd always known.

At first, as he started to regain his memories, he feared that he had lost Torie, that maybe she had found someone new. And, if she hadn't, that they wouldn't feel the same about each other anymore. But when he saw her again . . . his heart skipped a beat. He found himself smiling and reaching for her, his arms opened wide, and she'd received him. In that moment, he knew nothing had changed. He still loved her. She still loved him, had left someone for him, and that she always would. It would take time for his son to adjust, and for her other children to adjust, but things would soon be right. Ryan rolled a small, black velvet box in his fingers.

'I wonder if she'll fall for the same trick again,' he mused as he started to trudge towards the house. 'Either way, she'll be surprised. Now to keep everything from her in the meantime.'

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Speed hung up the phone with a sigh. He hadn't expected his father or Sparky to have tied him up so long. And it hadn't even been about racing!

'I wonder what they're up to,' he frowned as he reached for the phone again. The front door opened at that moment, and he pulled his hand back. Arms crossed, Speed entered the hallway as Trixie started to unbundle Jake. He wasn't about to let her see how worried he'd been when she'd walked out earlier.

"Trixie," he began.

"Hold on, Speed," she interjected. "I need to put Jake down for a nap."

"But Trixie . . ."

"I said hold on, Speed."

Hanging up the winter coats and Jake's snow pants, Trixie scooped the toddler in her arms then headed up the stairs. A few minutes later, she came back down. Speed noticed she had a rather determined look in her eyes.

"Okay, before you ask, I was over at Torie's. You don't have to call over there, asking how they've been. They're fine. As for why I left, well . . . I needed to get some fresh air. And some coffee."

"Coffee?" he blinked.

"Yes. Coffee. Torie offered it to me."

"How did you . . ."

"You're rather predictable, Speed," Trixie smiled a little. "I left here without a word so it's only natural that you be worried. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, we need to talk. Now."


	5. Chapter 5

"We need to talk. Now."

They were among the most important words she had ever said to anyone. Trixie felt her heart starting to race as she and Speed sat down at the kitchen table. Her palms were sweaty and she wasn't sure of what exactly she'd say. But she knew she had to tell him. Tell him how she felt. How she _really_ felt.

'If only I hadn't backed out of it the first time,' she berated herself. 'Why did I do that? I'm sure that it would have made him happy to hear me say that, especially with the way he looked so down . . .'

Down. Yes, he _had_ looked rather depressed that day, especially after she had told him that Torie and Ryan had taken off with the kids for a while.

'I think that's when I knew . . . knew that he wasn't completely over Torie . . . but to afraid to ask him about it. Not after he'd already told me that it was over between them and had been . . .'

"So . . ." he smiled at her and reached for her hand, "what did you want to talk to me about? You've been hinting at this for some time now. And I've got to admit that I'm rather curious about it."

Tentatively, Trixie reached out and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Then she took a deep breath.

'Here I go.'

"I . . . wanted to tell you how I feel, Speed," she murmured, keeping her eyes lowered. "But this isn't going to be easy."

"I know how you feel, Trixie . . . You came back."

"It's more than just that. Yes, I love you, I always have, and I always will. And I _want_ to be with you, more than what I can really say . . ."

"But?" he prompted.

"But . . ." she took another deep breath then exhaled, "it isn't completely possible right now."

"How . . . how do you mean?" he whispered, his voice wavering some. It twisted her heart to hear the pain in her beau's voice but she couldn't keep herself from telling him what she needed to. If she did, it would only hurt them both and Jake. And her little boy meant the entire world to her, more than any man, living or not.

"I mean this, Speed." She finally lifted her head to meet his gaze. "I'm not going to compete with Torie in any way, shape, or form. I know she's the mother of your children, and that's something I can't ever compete with. I don't want to. But I will NOT compete with her for your emotions, Speed."

He opened his mouth to protest but she cut him off.

"Please, don't . . . Hear me out. I know that you love me, just as much as I love you. And I know things are over between you and Torie. Believe me, I do know that. But, since we've come to Philadelphia, to me, it's felt like you've been mooning over her like some lovesick puppy. It may not seem like it to you but it has to me."

"I see . . . Trixie, I . . ."

"Let me finish," she murmured softly. "Please."

He blinked then nodded.

"Thank you . . ." Trixie paused for a moment. Now that she had started talking, she was finding the words easier than she had expected to. But what she had to say next would prove to be the most difficult thing she'd ever say. "We've both been through a lot in the last six years, more than what anyone should ever have to go through. But I don't think you've actually dealt with what happened . . . something about it is still bothering you." She squeezed his hand. "You just threw yourself into whatever you could so you wouldn't have to. Torie told me as much."

"Torie?" he blinked, stupefied.

"Yes," she nodded. "Torie. She told me how determined you got when it came to your physical therapy . . . how, when you came back to Philadelphia six months after leaving, you were walking with only the use of a cane. You were still wearing yourself out but you were walking, you were determined. You went back to school to get a degree, you write and you still work for Pops . . . everything you didn't have to do, things you could have taken time to have done."

"She pointed all of this out to you?"

"Your parents bragged about it when we were in Michigan, Speed," she chuckled. "All Torie did was point out how quickly you had started everything."

"Oh . . . I guess things have changed a lot, haven't they?"

"They have," Trixie nodded. "But that doesn't mean I love you any less or blame you for wanting to spend as much time with your children as possible. I do love you, Speed. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I've told you that. However, you've got a lot to deal with first. And you _do_ need to deal with it before it tears you apart."

"Does this mean you're going to leave me?" Sapphire eyes met hers and she felt her heart wrench.

"No, Speed. I'm not going to leave you. I'm never going to leave you. I'll always be there for you. And I don't want to change you. I don't want you to feel like you have to sacrifice your children to be with me. I just want you to be completely over _her_ and the fact that she has Ryan now," Trixie licked her lips then continued. "But understand this. If things become to chaotic for us to work through . . . if it feels like you're still pining over her or if it looks like my son is going to be hurt by this, I will not hesitate to put some distance between us. He's _my_ baby, the only child I have, and he'll always come first."

They sat in silence for a while, Speed's eyes blinking. Then a tiny grin tugged at his lips.

"Did Torie tell you to say that?"

"No," Trixie shook her head. "Why?"

"Because that's the same thing she said to me five years ago," he replied. They both chuckled at that and fell silent again. After a few moments, he got to his feet, releasing her hand.

"Speed?"

"There's something I want to tell you, too, Trixie. Something I've never told anyone, not even Torie. But first, I want to make us some tea."

"Tea?"

"Tea. Chamomile mint tea, to be precise."

"One of Torie's favourites, right?"

"Yeah," he nodded, opening cupboards and pulling out mugs and the tea. "She got me addicted to it. It has a relaxing aroma."

"And here she told me about the power of caffeinated beverages," Trixie giggled, watching Speed as he set the water to boil on the stove.

"Torie just likes to drink. Water, tea, coffee, soda . . . Amazingly enough, she doesn't even touch alcohol. Was quite adamant about it, too."

"I can imagine . . ."

"You must hate all this talk about Torie, though," he murmured.

"It doesn't bother me as bad as it should or as it would have several years ago," Trixie hesitated. "I know about everything she's done for you so I'm not going to complain about that. She's done a lot for me, too, and she is a very good person. Besides, it looks like you've picked up some rather healthy habits from her so . . ."

He glanced at her and smiled.

"Yeah," he conceded. "I guess I have."

A few minutes later, the water had boiled and Speed brought over the mugs, the tea bags steeping. He handed her a cup then sat back down. His expression had become so forlorn and suddenly he appeared to be older than what he should have been.

"Speed . . ."

"I had the ring, you know . . . that day in the café . . . I had never been so sure of anything before in my life as I had been back then . . ."

"Sparky told me you were going to propose . . ."

"I was," he admitted, a single tear straying down his cheek. "I had everything planned out. I had the ring, I bought a new suit for just the occasion . . . I even rehearsed the exact words that I wanted to say to you. I didn't think for a moment that things would turn out the way that they did."

"Me accusing you of being in New York when really I was seeing Seth O'Connell with his girlfriend."

"Why did you do that, Trixie?" he choked out. "Why did you leave me like that?"

"Because I was stupid, foolish," she stated, wiping away some of her own tears. "And very vulnerable and jealous. I let Taylor play with my insecurities instead of listening with my heart and giving you a chance."

"I wanted to die after you told me that . . . I really, truly wanted to die . . . I barely remember meeting Sparky at the race track and hearing him say he was going to be someone else's mechanic . . . all because he saw Ryan O'Connell working on his truck with his best friend . . ." he sighed raggedly. "I don't remember how I even got to Philadelphia. I know that I drove the Mach 5, that I parked the car but the drive . . . I don't remember. I just remember seeing the Basilica and wandering around . . . then the pain came, ripping right through me."

"The Black Tigers beating you."

"Yes," he affirmed. "And I let them. I didn't even bother to fight back. I should have, I _knew_ that I should have . . . but I didn't. I _made_ myself helpless. I never thought I would ever be happy again. I don't even know why I held on."

"Speed," her voice barely managed to reach a whisper. She knew that her leaving him would have affected him in a rather bad way, but she'd always thought he'd be strong, be able to carry on. Of course, she'd thought him to be cheating on her as well. "I'm so sorry. I should have believed you."

"Yes. You should have . . . but you didn't. Yet . . . I don't think I'd change anything . . . even if I could . . ." His eyes become thoughtful, shimmering pools of the bluest skies. Trixie took a tentative sip of her tea and watched him. "I mean . . . I have a son and a daughter, whom I love very much because of this . . . and you have a son that you love very much . . ."

"Yeah," she admitted with a chuckle. "That we do. Tell me, Speed . . . how did you feel when you woke up from your coma?"

"Lost, confused . . ." he shrugged. "Couldn't remember anything, my name, my family . . . and when I did, I still felt hurt that you had left me but not as bad as before. I think that may have been the only reason why I was able to continue living."

She reached over and took his hand back into hers. He let out a bitter laugh.

"Yeah . . . Able to continue living . . . I moved out of my parents home and into the house of a woman who was still a stranger to me . . . the same woman who has kept me on my feet since I woke up, six years ago, something my parents have never seemed to appreciate. They love me and they're happy for me . . . but they don't appreciate everything Torie has done for me."

"I do," Trixie whispered. "I appreciate everything she's done for you."

"I'm glad someone does," he muttered then shook his head. "Sorry . . . didn't mean to sound so bitter about it."

"I know," she smiled. "You were going through a rough time, wanting someone to just accept what you wanted, and she was there. I don't blame you for reaching out to her and I don't blame you for wanting to keep holding on to her, either. But you can't. Not anymore. You need to let her go, let her be happy with Ryan."

"I don't know, Trixie. I'm not the same guy I was before we broke up."

"No," she conceded, "you're not. But you're not weak, Speed. You never have been. You never _will_ be. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere. You can lean on me, baby, you know you can."

She got up and moved to be next to him, cradling him against her. His form trembled as he wrapped his arms around her waist. There were many implications in his words, in his actions about the way he felt towards her. She had no doubts that Speed loved her and wanted to be with her . . . but he didn't trust her. At least, a small part of him didn't trust her.

'The price I pay for my actions,' she sighed sadly. 'I can't blame him for not trusting me, not after I walked out of his life twice. But I can earn that trust . . . I can prove to him, and to myself, that I'm not going anywhere. Maybe his confession is the start . . . maybe . . . maybe we have a chance at being able to trust each other completely after all.'

Tentatively, she kissed the top of his head. She had a lot of work ahead of her . . .


	6. Chapter 6

Recommended Music for this Chapter: All I Want by Susanna Hoffs

* * *

"You were a major influence on him. Do you know that?" 

Torie sighed at the gentle accusation. It had been coming. She knew that.

"Yeah. I know."

Slowly, she sat down in the chair opposite of the petite brunette, careful not to spill her herbal tea. Trixie smiled.

"Soda, coffee, herbal tea . . . isn't there anything you won't drink while talking to someone? Other than alcohol?"

"That's pretty much it," she chuckled. They sat in silence for a few moments.

"I didn't mean for my comment to sound harsh . . . You've actually gotten him to live healthier."

"Don't worry about it," Torie shook her head. "I know you didn't. For some reason, it's just the way things are."

"Yeah," the younger woman sighed.

"I take it you talked with him about how you felt?" She took a drink.

"Mm-hmmm," Trixie nodded. "He told me some things that he said he never told you . . . that he never told anyone."

"That really doesn't surprise me . . ." Torie trailed off. Then she glanced at Trixie and shook her head. The younger girl had a bit of a frightened expression. "I'm not going to ask what he told you. That's between the two of you."

Relief washed over her face.

"Thank you," came the murmur.

"He told it to you in confidence," Torie shrugged. "None of my business."

"Yeah . . . I think he feels slightly threatened by Ryan, though. Especially after what Sparky had told him about his trip to Philadelphia."

"All roads lead to Philadelphia," Torie chuckled then shook her head again. With a sigh, she continued, "I'm surprised he even stays in this city. He doesn't have to, you know."

"Speed stays because of his children," Trixie stated.

"No. He stays mostly because he's afraid to let go. When we broke up, that enabled him to go anywhere he wanted. And I've already told him I have no problems flying the children to go and see him for a week or two. I wasn't going to be a bitch about his right to see Little Greg and Mackenzie and I could have. I still could but I'm not going to. Speed _chose_ to stay here. Yes, part of it was because he wanted to stay close by the children and I can't blame him for that. But something else keeps him here."

"Do you think that he should move? Get away from everything?"

"Honestly? I don't know, dear," Torie sighed. "The only one who really knows what's best for Speed is Speed. No one can make his decisions for him. He can be influenced but ultimately the choice is his." She reached out a hand and grasped Trixie's wrist. "He still has a lot to deal with. You know this, Trixie. He needs you to help him pull through. Now. I don't know what truly ails him. I can make guesses but I'm not going to."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm just going to be supportive of him and encourage him to make the right decisions. That's all I really can do."

"That's all you've been doing . . . hasn't it?"

"Somewhat," Torie smiled, letting go of the younger woman's arm. "I'll admit, I did put some ideas into his head. Everything else just fell into place."

"Oh . . ."

"Yeah . . . Now . . . I'm going to ask you . . . now that you and Speed have everything in the open, what are you going to do?"

"I'm not sure," Trixie confessed. "He's been through so much, and a lot of which I put him through . . . He doesn't fully trust me anymore. I'm not sure how I can help him get over anything if he doesn't trust me like he used to."

"Trust is a fickle thing. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it can't be restored . . . but that's only if the other person isn't willing to give you another chance. And I can say this, Trixie. Even _if_ I hadn't broken up with Speed, he'd still want you. He would choose you over me. You have a chance to rebuild that trust and gain more than what you left behind. So much more."

"You think so?"

"Yes. I think so."

"So what should I do?" Trixie inquired.

"Get creative."

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"All right, I'm here. What's going on?" Speed shoved his hands into his jacket. Ryan glanced at him then gestured to his truck.

"Get in."

"What for?" Speed frowned.

"We're going shopping," Ryan smirked. "Now get in before the girls figure out what we're doing."

"Shopping?" the younger man echoed as he climbed in.

"Shopping," Ryan affirmed as he got behind the wheel. "Valentine's Day _is_ around the corner, you know."

"Oh. Yeah."

The truck's engine revved up. With practiced ease, Ryan tore out of the driveway, giving a thumbs up to Torie as he left.

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"They're gone."

"Are you sure you won't mind watching Jake for the night?" Trixie wrung her hands as she watched the two men leave. "Won't this interrupt whatever you and Ryan had planned?"

"I don't mind," Torie chuckled as she balanced the young boy on her hip. "Besides, whatever Ryan and I want to do can wait until the kids are sleeping."

"You're terrible."

"I know," came the wicked laugh. "You might want to hurry. Ryan's not going to be able to keep Speed occupied for too long."

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Speed let out a soft groan as he opened the door to his house. Ryan hadn't been kidding when he said they were going shopping. The older man had stopped in just about every clothing and jewelry store possible, trying to find the "right" dress for Torie, the "right" necklace, the "right" pair of earrings . . . the "right" ring. And he practically had encouraged Speed to do the same thing, all items being dropped off at Robert's home.

'It wasn't anything like I'd expected,' he thought as he entered. He wouldn't have admitted to anyone, but he had always found Ryan a little intimidating, even before the man had walked back into his ex's life. 'But right now I just want to . . .'

He paused then sniffed. The scent of garlic had greeted his nose. Curious, he strode into the kitchen and found it to be lit only by two candles on the table. Trixie stood next to the table, wearing an elegant, spaghetti-thin strapped pink dress and a soft smile on her face. He crossed the room to her, gazing at everything in awe.

"Trixie?"

"I thought I'd surprise you . . ." she murmured.

"And you have . . . What's this for?"

"To show you how much I love you and how much I want to be with you," Trixie replied.

"And where's Jake?" he inquired, sitting down at the table. Before him sat a pasta dinner, complete with garlic bread and wine.

"With Torie and Ryan. They said they'd watch him for tonight."

"So you could do this? For me? You shouldn't have . . ."

"Maybe," she shrugged, taking her place next to him. "But I wanted to. Besides, you shouldn't have to do all of the planning and the giving of gifts. We're a couple, Speed. It doesn't have to be one-sided."

"No," he shook his head, "it doesn't. You've been talking with Torie again, haven't you?"

"Perhaps," came the sly response. "I don't know very many people here, after all."

"True," Speed conceded. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that. So . . . I take it this a rather complete meal?"

"If you're asking about dessert, yes. It's a complete meal. After this, I thought that maybe we could curl up on the couch and watch a movie."

Speed could only smile. Trixie's gesture had touched him. Deeply.

'I can't believe this . . . This is completely different from how things were before. She really has changed . . . Maybe Ryan was right in taking me shopping after all.'

"That sounds great, Trixie," he smiled. Picking up his fork, he took a bite of his spaghetti . . .


	7. Chapter 7

Recommend music for the chapter: It Just Won't Quit by Meat Loaf

* * *

Torie hummed as she pranced about her kitchen, grabbing bowls from the cupboard and silverware from the utensil drawer. So far, so good. Things were going according to plan. 

'And that sounds so sinister,' she chuckled to herself as she poured cereal then milk into the bowls then served them to the four monkeys that sat at her kitchen table. Ryan glanced at her over his cup of coffee and the day's paper.

"You're in a very good mood," he observed, setting the paper down. "Dare I ask why?"

"I'm not on the phone," she winked, sliding into his lap. "That's why."

"Ah yes," Ryan chuckled. "The plan to keep the lovebirds together."

"Yess," Torie purred, nuzzling him. "_That_. Can you blame me for trying?"

"No," he murmured, his hand sliding over one of her legs. "I can't blame you for trying. Though I think you should call in a favour to Trixie and have her watch the kids for a night. Give us some alone time together."

"Don't need to," she stated. Torie kissed him. "They'll have the kids this weekend. Well, Little Greg and Mackenzie, anyway."

"And Little Ryan?"

"He could go over there," Torie replied thoughtfully. "I know Speed wouldn't mind, as he does adore him . . . I'll ask them, though, if they'd like to have the kids for a night."

"Sounds nice," he smiled. They cuddled for a little while longer, until someone knocked on the door. "I'll get it," she sighed, rising to her feet. "Probably Trixie coming for Jake anyway."

Sure enough, the petite brunette had come for her child, Speed right behind her. Both had enormously large and ridiculous grins on their faces.

"I take it things went well last night," she winked as they followed her into the kitchen. Their grins getting sillier were her only reply.

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Speed felt . . . high, like every fiber of his being had been attached to electrical wires then lit on fire. There were no other words to describe how he was truly feeling. Oh, he knew how Torie would describe it. There were many words she was able to use. That was her advantage of being a professional writer. Speed, however, preferred the rather old-fashioned term of "high on life."

Coming home to Trixie's spaghetti dinner had been pleasant. Very pleasant. Curling up on the couch to watch a movie had been even more pleasant. But he'd never expected things to go as far as they had. He hadn't expected for them to end up sharing the same bed last night . . . and then some. For the first time in years, Speed like he was back on top of the world.

'This is the way my life's supposed to be,' he told himself as he maneuvered the shopping cart. Trixie had surprised him now it was his turn to surprise her. Thankfully, she and Jake had stayed with Torie and Ryan when he'd gone back home. It had given him a chance to better secure the Valentine's gifts he'd purchased then sneak back out to do a little more shopping. 'Everything that's happened was meant to . . . It's like what Torie's always told me . . . you have to taste the bitter to know the sweet.'

"Speed Racer?"

Blinking, he glanced around to see who had spoken, his eyes landing on a tall man with sandy blonde hair and green eyes approaching him. The other man had a dark scowl on his face and apparently did not fit in with the normal supermarket crowd.

"That's me," he replied, his defenses going up for some reason he couldn't quite identify yet. "What can I do for you?"

"The name's Taylor Prescott the Third," the man sniffed dutifully, not even bothering to do the gentleman thing and hold out his hand for the customary shake. "We haven't met before . . ."

"I know who you are," Speed murmured softly. "I've heard about you from everyone that knows Torie and Ryan."

"Good," came the statement. "Then we can skip the useless formalities this situation calls for."

"Situation?"

"Yes," Taylor nodded. "It's my understanding that Trixie has come back to Philadelphia . . ."

"So what if she has? It really isn't any of your business."

"Actually," he smirked, "it _is_ my business. She's my wife. Didn't you know?"


	8. Chapter 8

_"She's my wife."_

Those words rang over and over again in Speed's mind as he drove home. He had to take several deep breaths to keep his hands from shaking at Taylor Prescott's rather blunt announcement.

'It can't be . . . They can't be married to each other still . . . both Torie and Trixie said the marriage got annulled . . . were they both lying? No . . . they wouldn't lie to me. They have no reason to lie to me . . . but why would he say that? And now? Trixie's finally back in my life. Why would he say that?'

Speed shook his head as his house came into view, chasing away the unpleasant questions. He'd have his answers soon enough.

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"Thanks again for taking the kids," Torie breathed. "You have no idea as to how much this means to me and Ryan."

"No problem," Trixie smiled as all four children ran past her into the house. "It's the least I can do since you took Jake for us last night."

"Meh. No biggie . . . What was wrong with Speed when you called him?"

"I don't know," the brunette shook her head. "He just sounded so . . . distracted. Said he'd tell me when he got home. Speaking of which . . . here he is."

Both women watched as the dark-haired man pulled into the driveway then slowly make his way to the front door. Torie frowned when she saw him. Somehow, from the time he had left her house to now, his cheerful attitude had dissipated, leaving before her a downtrodden and somber man.

"What happened, Speed?" she murmured when he was close enough to hear. Sad blue eyes raised to meet hers and Trixie's green.

"I ran into someone at the store," he replied, shrugging his shoulders. "No big deal."

"You sure?" Trixie inquired, worry weaving its way into her tone.

"Yeah," Speed nodded, managing to smile a little. "I'm sure."

Torie's frown deepened. She wanted to ask him more. If it had been nothing, he wouldn't appear to be so depressed. However, she knew better than to press him to talk when he wasn't ready.

"All right. If you two need anything, just give me a call. Okay?"

"You know that we will, Torie," he assured her. "Thank you."

"No problem."

Still frowning, Torie stepped off the porch and made her way back to her home. Something wasn't right. She just knew it.

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Trixie watched as Speed hung up his coat and slowly make his way into the living room. He acted as if his back was bothering him but she knew that it simply wasn't the case. Speed had taken all of his medications before they'd left the house, and she had also given him a massage after they had woke up. It caused her worry for him to grow with each moment that she watched him. Finally, she couldn't take anymore. With the kids upstairs playing, Trixie sat down next to Speed.

"What's wrong, Speed?"

"It's nothing," he began.

"Don't give me that. Please. I know you better than that and so does Torie. We both saw you. If it was nothing, you wouldn't be like this," Trixie stated. "What's wrong?"

"You're not going to back off unless I tell you, are you?"

"No," she shook her head. "I'm not. I'm not Torie. I don't want you to shut me out. I refuse to let that happen. Not after everything I went through to get back to you."

For a moment, he said nothing. He didn't even look at her. Then he let out a heavy sigh.

"I was going to ask you about this, anyway," Speed murmured. "You and Torie both. I just wasn't prepared for her asking me right away . . ." He lifted his head and met her gaze. "I ran into Taylor Prescott at the store. He said he heard you were back in Philadelphia. When I told him it was none of his business, he said that it was . . . that you were his wife."


	9. Chapter 9

"He . . . what?" Torie's eyes widened as she listened to Trixie rant to her heart's content.

"He told Speed that we're still married!" she exclaimed, her cheeks red from anger. "And I know that's not true! Genevieve gave me a copy of the annulment! It was legitimate!"

"I know it was," Torie soothed, setting down her tea. "I saw the papers myself."

"What am I going to do?" the brunette moaned, flopping onto a chair. "This is the last thing I need right now!"

"Especially with you and Speed trying to work things out?"

"Yes!"

Torie nodded, her expression sympathetic. She knew exactly what it was that was bothering Trixie. It had been the same thing that had bothered her when she and Ryan had first begun dating and Taylor had tried to interfere. She knew that, once he had his sights set on someone, it became increasingly difficult to get rid of him. However, she knew that it was going to be worse for Trixie than it ever had been for her. Taylor and Trixie had been childhood friends, and they had also been married for a brief period of time.

"That's Taylor for you," Torie stated. "Trust me, I know. He tried to do the same thing to Ryan when we started dating."

"And what you tried to warn me about six years ago," Trixie sighed. "How did you two cope?"

"Well, one, we stood our ground and by each other," she replied. "No matter what Taylor tried to tell Ryan about me, he stood up to Taylor and stood by me. He didn't believe anything Taylor said. Of course, it was really funny . . . Ryan and I weren't even dating when Taylor showed up at my door one day. Taylor started to tell Ryan that I was _his_ girlfriend and all this other shit about how only he could give me the kind of life that I deserved . . . Ryan didn't buy it."

"What did Ryan do to get him to leave that night?" came the breathless and curious inquiry. Trixie was on the edge of her seat, her eyes wide and her cheeks a little flushed.

"Told Taylor that we were dating. Wish I could have been there to see his expression after that declaration."

"You weren't there?!"

"Nope," Torie shook her head. "I was running late that day because I'd slipped on some ice so I missed it. Ryan told me about it over dinner that night. I just about died laughing. Then I asked him to be my boyfriend."

"You . . . asked Ryan?"

"Yep," she grinned. "But not because of what he'd said to Taylor. Granted, it was funny and I enjoyed it but that wasn't the reason why I wanted him to be in my life like that."

"You were falling in love with him, weren't you?"

"Had already fallen," Torie sighed happily. "I knew I wanted to be with him for as long as time would allow."

"Same here," came a male voice. The two of them glanced up to see Ryan standing in the doorway, clad in his usual black shirt and black jeans. He'd obviously not opted for shoes and socks just yet. Smiling warmly, he crossed the room and sat next to Torie, an arm going about her waist.

"That sounds so romantic!" Trixie gushed.

"If that's how you want to see it," Torie winked. "But that's how we were able to deal with Taylor mostly. We knew what we wanted and we stood by our decisions. Once you're strong and united like that, nothing can destroy you."

For a moment, the younger woman said nothing. She just sat there, her expression thoughtful. Then Trixie gave a nod and rose to her feet.

"I know what to do," she stated, though they hadn't asked her a single question. "Thanks."

With a smile and a wave, she was heading for the door . . .

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Taylor sighed as he stared at his wedding picture. His life had not been the same since Trixie had walked out of it. Granted, she wasn't Torie Cronkhite but he still loved the petite brunette.

'And now she's back in Philadelphia . . . Trixie, my love, you will be mine once more. I swear it.'


	10. Chapter 10

Speed lay on the floor of his living room, staring unseeing at the ceiling fan. He still could not believe Taylor Prescott had approached him in a grocery store about Trixie then declare that the two of them were still married. It confused him and caused his heart to ache like it had not done since he and Torie had split. He did not want to lose Trixie again, not like he had on that fateful day seven years ago.

On that day when Trixie had declared they were through, she had not even listened to him, had not believed him when he said he had not been in New York at the same time as she. His confusion had not been genuine enough in her eyes, and it had devastated him like nothing else ever could. It was an eerie sense of déjà vu, only it was he questioning what his beloved was telling him versus what her former husband was saying.

Speed's eyes widened as that realization came to him. It _was_ exactly like the day Trixie had left him, only their roles were now reversed. _He_ was the one questioning Trixie's loyalty and honesty, and he was quite possibly putting her through a similar hell he had endured. Immediately, Speed shook his head and sat up.

'No,' he told himself. 'No. I'm not going to do that to her. I can't, I _won't_ do that to her. I love her too much for that.'

Pain lanced through his back from his sudden action of sitting up, but Speed ignored it. Instead, he pushed himself to his feet and hobbled towards the kitchen where he knew Trixie – who oddly enough spent more time in his home than in her apartment – was fixing dinner for he and the children. He vaguely heard the kids as they laughed and squealed at whatever game they were playing. Speed was aware of only one truth in that moment. This time with Taylor Prescott was different.

This time Speed intended to fight for the woman he loved, and he _would_ win.

* * *

Trixie glanced up the moment she heard Speed grunt, and a light frown touched upon her lips. She had not liked the sound of that grunt as it indicated, to her, that Speed was quite possibly in some pain. Though she wanted to check on him and make sure he did not need anything, Trixie did not dare leave the kitchen, not with four rambunctious children playing among dinette chairs and with water boiling on the stove. All she needed was to leave the room for a moment to have something terrible happen, and Trixie was not about to chance such a thing. It turned out she did not need to leave.

Within five minutes of the grunt noise, Speed shuffled into the kitchen, an expression of pain on his handsome face. The children stopped their game in an instant, Trixie heard, her own son seemingly taking his cue to settle down from the other children. From the corner of her eye, Trixie noticed as Little Ryan pulled out a chair.

"Sit," the little boy said. He resembled a miniature version of his father that was kind of scary to see. Speed shook his head at the boy's command.

"I'm all right, Ryan."

"Nuh-uh. You need to sit before you fall down. That's what Mommy always told you."

"Your mommy isn't here," Speed began. The small boy folded his arms in front of him and scowled a little.

"So?" he replied. "Jake's mommy is here. She'll make you sit down."

Trixie felt her jaw drop at the same time Speed's did from that simple proclamation, and they both stared at the audacious child. He stared back at them, as if to challenge them to say he was wrong. Then Trixie smiled, fighting back the giggle that now threatened. There were no doubts in her mind as to the parents of this child were!

"He does have a point, Speed," she said. "I will make you sit down."

At that, her beau sighed.

"I guess so." Then he placed his hands on his hips and stared at the six-year-old, doing his best to imitate Little Ryan's scowl. "You're too much like your mother. You know that, right?"

"It's one of my many charms," Little Ryan replied in a matter-of-fact tone. The younger children laughed in response, though they probably did not get the joke, and Speed shook his head. Trixie found the whole scene to be quite adorable, but she knew Speed was probably quite the disciplinarian when the occasion called for it. Watching the interaction caused her to feel warm and light on the inside, and she knew she wanted to raise her son with this man. Trixie also noticed her beau did move towards the chair Little Ryan had pulled out for him.

"I'm sure it is," Speed stated. A look of relief washed over his face as he sat down. "How about you guys go play in the living room or something until it's time to eat? Maybe put a movie in and settle down for a bit, okay? I'd like to talk to Trixie before supper's ready."

"Talk to her?" Little Greg asked. He was quite obvious curious about a lot of things. "Why do we have to leave for that?"

For only being four years of age, Trixie thought Speed's little boy spoke quite well. She wondered if that was Torie's influence or for the child's natural inclination to compete. The boy did have another brother and a sister, after all.

"Because they're gonna kiss each other," his older brother answered. "Let's get out of here! I'll put in _Charlie_!"

A chorus of "yays" followed, and the children were once again racing, this time out of the kitchen.

Trixie could not help herself. She burst into a fit of giggles by the boy's response and his adult-like attitude. Speed shook his head again.

"That boy is going to be a handful," he commented.

"Uh-huh," Trixie agreed. "Like you weren't when you were his age."

"No fair," Speed said. "You're ganging up on me." He smiled as he spoke, and Trixie shrugged.

"Ah well. You'll get used to it." She winked then turned serious. "So you want to talk to me. What about?"

"I don't believe Taylor."

His simple statement caught Trixie off-guard. He did not believe Taylor? What had sparked that comment?

"I got to thinking," he explained without any prompting from her. "This is where we were at seven years ago when you came back from New York. Something wasn't what it seemed, and Taylor used it to his advantage. That was how he drove a wedge between us and tore us apart. I don't believe him when he says you're still his wife."

Trixie nodded as she listened, and she felt herself smiling. It was good to hear him say he was not going to allow Taylor to tear them apart once again. Speed was telling her he trusted her, believed in her, which is more than what he could have said about her seven years ago. She pushed herself away from the counter and closed the space between them. When he was close enough for her to touch him, Trixie took one of his hands into hers and placed it on her chest, just above her heart. It meant a great deal to her for him to say he had faith in her, and his simple words reaffirmed the love she had for this man.

"At least one of us will have gotten it right," she murmured. "Thank you."

"I just don't want you to go through the same hell that I did back then. I don't ever want to see you heart-broken like that." Sad, blue eyes gazed at her. "It would tear me apart to see that."

His words touched her in a way Trixie knew she could never put into words of her own, they were so heartfelt and sincere. Instead of trying to vocalize her feelings, Trixie responded in the way she could think of to do.

She leaned in and kissed him.

* * *

"Taylor . . ."

The blond-haired man glanced up when he heard his mother speak. Stern, grey eyes stared hard at him, and a frown was on his mother's face. She was not happy about something. He knew that look very well. Taylor straightened his back and frowned as well. He hated it when she was displeased about something. He wanted to murder someone when she was displeased.

"Yes, mother?"

"I want you to leave Trixie Vanderbucks alone," she ordered. "I was just informed you are saying that she is still your wife. It is not true, young man. I know you know this, and I _know_ I have raised you better than that."

Shock washed over Taylor as his mother addressed him in her usual strict, don't-you-even-think-of-disobeying-me-young-man manner, and he knew she had talked with Torie in the last day. He worked his jaw in an effort to speak but his mother shook her head, effectively silencing him.

"There is no room for argument," she said. "If you want to have any hope of at least a friendship with her, you will leave her alone and let her be happy with who she has."

"I want her to be happy," Taylor murmured. "I want that more than anything, really. She was always good to me." He averted his gaze as his mother walked towards him. Her hand clasped his shoulder.

"I know you do," she replied. "And I know it hurts you to think you can't make her happy."

"Is that why you annulled my marriage with her?"

"Yes," she answered. "It is. You're my son, and I'll do whatever I can think of to ensure you're safe and happy. You know that. I just can't change other women's hearts."

"I thought I could do that," Taylor said with a rueful grin. His mother laughed a little.

"You can, on the right woman," his mother said. "But you can't change what is meant to be, and I know you can see that Trixie is meant to be with Greg Racer. Her heart has always been with him."

"So what should I do then?" he asked. "I had plans . . ."

"I don't know, Taylor. That's entirely up to you. You're an intelligent and handsome young man. You'll think of something."

'But what if everything I've thought of always includes Trixie?' he wondered as his mother left the room. 'I love her like I've never loved anyone before. What do I do now?'

The lengthening silence was his only answer.


	11. Chapter 11

Trixie stared at the dark blue velvet jewelry box that housed a seven-year-old engagement ring. She had found it in the top drawer of his desk a few hours after Speed had told her he bought it, ready to propose on that fateful day. More than anything, Trixie wanted to open the small box and gaze at the ring Speed had deemed fit to place on her finger, but she lacked the courage to do so. It was as if she was not meant to see this particular piece of jewelry just yet, and she did not want to ruin anything by opening the box prematurely. Instead, as she usually did, she placed the box with the ring inside it back into the desk drawer where Speed kept them, and slipped quietly out of his office.

One day, the engagement ring would be on her finger as well as a wedding band. Speed, without actually saying the exact words, promised her as much. He loved her, he truly did, and Trixie saw as much in the way he behaved towards her and her son. Speed, however, needed to work his courage up to ask her the question, and Trixie understood his heart still required a little more time to heal.

His heart was not the only thing of Speed's in need of healing, either. Speed's mental state also required some repair and tender loving care. On the nights she stayed over, which had been pretty much since their return to Philadelphia, Trixie heard her beau whimpering when he slept. Speed also cried out and begged her not to leave him, his body tossing and turning. They were nightmares, a combination of past events and his recent confrontation with Taylor Prescott. Trixie's heart twisted into knots whenever she witnessed these occurrences, unsure if she should wake her boyfriend or let the horrible dreams continue.

Trixie was not powerless in this situation, however. She believed she could help Speed both mentally and emotionally in his recovery, and she knew what she needed to do during his waking hours.

In the past, Trixie knew she lacked faith in her man, faith and trust. This time, she was wiser. She had traveled the world with a really good friend, she had given birth to a healthy little boy, and she had experienced a life she otherwise would not have known. Because of everything she endured and survived, Trixie knew when someone was taking advantage of a situation and when someone was being sincere. She knew what she needed to do to regain everything she had lost.

Trixie walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Once there, she immediately headed for the phone. For what she had in mind, Trixie wanted another female's opinion and help, and there was only one woman she trusted to keep her secret until the time was right. Her memory guiding her, Trixie dialed the one number no one would ever believe she would call.

The phone on the other end started to ring, and, while she waited for the other woman to answer, Trixie could not help but wonder if she was crazy. Most of the girls she knew would never consider doing what she already decided she needed to do nor the one person who had already been with the guy in question. However, she was no longer like most girls she grew up knowing. She did not have the common bonds with them like before, and common bonds with people changed over time. It was just how life worked. On the other end, someone picked up the phone, and a feminine voice answered.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, Torie. It's Trixie. Listen, I need to talk to you about something very important . . . Is there somewhere we could meet?"

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"So where are the girls again?" Sparky asked. The redhead mechanic and his fiancé, Janine Trotter, were in Philadelphia for a surprise visit, much to Speed's delight and shock. He had been feeling out of sorts lately, and he could not say why or how it had even started. Having his best friend there helped to center him, just like Ryan's presence did.

"They're out for some retail therapy," Ryan said as he poured himself a cup of coffee. Speed laughed at Sparky's perplexed expression. The mechanic acted as if he had never heard the expression before, even though Torie had used it all the time when she and her friends got together.

"They're shopping, Sparky," Speed said. "Trixie called Torie about the two of them going out for a girls' thing just before you and Janine arrived."

"Oh." Then the mechanic laughed as well, his cheeks turning red. "It's been so long since I've heard that phrase, I forgot what it was."

"Torie and Janine never went shopping together?" Ryan asked, leaning against the counter.

"Not very often," the mechanic replied, his jovial mood dissipating a little. "Torie and Janine don't always get along."

"Oh?" Ryan brought his cup to his mouth. Since the girls were out, the guys were at Speed's home, watching the kids. Pizza was the promised meal for the evening, and they were waiting for the delivery guy to show up in the next few moments. The kids were hungry, though momentarily distracted by watching _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_ for the dozenth time.

"Yeah." Sparky fidgeted a little as he spoke.

"Janine never really approved of Torie, is what he's saying," Speed replied. "Out of all my friends, the only person who really seemed to like her was Kim Jugger, even though she called him an idiot on more than one occasion."

"Ah-ha."

"Well," Sparky began. "Torie is. . ."

"Torie," Ryan said. "She is who she, and she won't change just because someone wants her to. Most people don't know how to handle a strong-willed, independent, and opinionated woman like her."

"Trixie's strong-willed and independent," Sparky said, his tone bordering on indignant. "She always has been, too. In fact, I'm surprised she and Torie are getting along so well. They're nothing alike."

"I'm not surprised," Ryan said. He smiled as he took another drink of his coffee.

"You're not?" Sparky's eyes widened at Ryan's proclamation.

"No," he said. "I'm not."

"I'm not, either," Speed said, finally adding more to the conversation.

"Really? Wow. I never would have guessed," the mechanic murmured. "Trixie used to get so jealous when Speed so much as even _looked_ at another girl. It was unreal. I thought for sure she and Torie would eventually butt heads."

"Well, there's a difference between Trixie now and how she used to be." Ryan smiled. "Trixie, from what I just heard you say, used to be insecure. Strong-willed and independent, but still very unsure, which isn't unusual. Strong-willed and independent is a difficult combination for most people to handle and some guys are intimidated by girls like that."

"And now? What's the difference?"

Ryan drank some more of his coffee before answering, "She's grown up. She's got a little boy of her own now, and that makes the difference. Kids change everything, especially how adults tend to behave."

"He's right," Speed said, smiling. "Kids change everything. They mellow people out and make them think on how to act. It's true when someone says, monkey see, monkey do."

"And kids bring out the overprotective bears in people, too," Sparky said with a laugh. "I've seen how you and Torie got when it came to the kids. It was definitely one of those you-better-hide situations!"

"I can't help it!" Speed replied defensively. "They're my kids!"

"I know," Sparky said. "Believe me, man, I know. So . . . having kids must be the common bond between Torie and Trixie."

"Probably," Ryan conceded. "Women are strange creatures anyway."

"They _do_ talk to each other a lot," Speed admitted. "But then Trixie contacted Torie when she wanted to move to Philadelphia. Torie helped her out a lot. She still is."

"Ah . . . must be the reason for the retail therapy then," Sparky commented.

"With Torie," Ryan said, "anything is possible."

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"Hey, Trixie, can I ask you something?"

"What is it, Janine?"

The two women were sitting down in Morimoto's, one of Torie's favourite Japanese restaurants, and gazing at the menus to decide on what they wanted to eat. Torie had suggested they eat dinner there, and the blond-haired woman had just disappeared into the ladies room. Trixie was still studying the menu when Janine said, "Doesn't it bother you to be around Torie? I mean, she and Speed used to be an item once. She was the first girl he ever slept with."

Trixie stopped perusing the menu and regarded her friend. She knew from previous conversations with Speed and Torie that Speed's family did not always get along with Torie, and Trixie figured the same feelings probably applied to Sparky and Janine since the Racers were a tightly knit family, one Trixie was still a part of. The soft-spoken girl's inquiry only confirmed Trixie's suspicions. It saddened her to think no one had truly accepted Torie since the woman was warm and funny and had been the best person for Speed at that time.

"No," she replied. "It actually doesn't bother me. This shopping trip was my idea, and Torie agreed to come with me. If anything, she's been nothing but very kind and helpful. It's more than what I expected from her."

"Really?" Janine appeared shocked by the revelation. "I thought it would have bothered you to have her living so close to Speed, especially since they have two kids together."

"It's because of their kids that I accept what's happened." Trixie set her menu down and lowered her voice, leaning in close to Janine. "I wasn't there when Speed needed me the most, Janine. Torie was, and those are things I can't change. I also have to live them with them. By all rights, _she_ should hate _me_ for the way I behaved back then. I was selfish and I took off, leaving Speed to deal with something no one should ever have to endure. She doesn't hate me, though, and, for the life of me, I can't figure out why."

"Oh . . . when you put it that way . . ."

"It kind of changes everything, doesn't it?"

"Well, yeah." Janine nodded. "I mean, we all understood you needed to leave and to sort things out. Even Speed understood and said he couldn't wait for you to come back. It's just, when he moved in with Torie, I thought she was trying to take your place in Speed's heart. It was shocking to hear him say he loved her and even more devastating to watch him through their split."

"She wasn't trying to take my place, Janine. She knew she couldn't so she never even bothered to try. In the end, I'm part of the reason why they separated," Trixie said.

"You're kidding me! You're part of the reason?" Janine asked. Her eyes were almost bulging out of their sockets from Trixie's confession. Trixie knew it was a lot for anyone to process. It had been a lot for her to process as well, and she felt sad the kids had been the ones to be caught in the middle of the whole situation. "Who was the other reason then?"

Trixie smiled as she replied, the answer almost quite painfully obvious.

"Ryan."

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"So what did you find out?" Sparky asked, fighting back a yawn.

"Torie still likes the same things," Janine replied with some amusement. Sparky was so endearing when he tried to resist sleep. "And maybe we were wrong about her."

She slid into the bed next to him, letting out a sigh. Trixie's confessions turned all of her beliefs about Torie upside down and inside out. For five and a half years, Janine had resented the blond-haired woman. In her mind, it was because of Torie Speed had left his home in Michigan and given up any hope for racing again. Granted, his injuries had actually taken Speed out of racing, but Torie's appearance in his life had been more convenient for laying blame.

"Oh? How do you figure that?"

Sparky wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Janine let out another sigh.

"I always thought I knew why Torie had involved herself with Speed," she murmured. "I thought she was trying to replace my best friend, and I couldn't stand that."

"I don't think anyone could," Sparky replied. "I mean, we all probably thought the same thing."

"Yeah . . . I kind of felt guilty when she and Speed announced they were breaking up," Janine said, keeping her voice low. "I thought it was because of us they were separating. We were never really that nice to her."

"I know. I felt bad, too, mostly for Speed, though. He cared about her a lot," Sparky said.

"Almost as much as he cared about Trixie."

"Yeah . . ."

"It was because of Trixie and Ryan they split."

"Now that doesn't surprise me," Sparky stated, laughing.

"Oh really? And why's that?"

"Have you seen the way Torie looks at Ryan?" he asked. Janine blinked then shook her head 'no.' She honestly had not paid any attention to the older woman or her beau.

"Oh my goodness, you should watch sometime!" Sparky declared, trying to keep the mirth out of his voice and his tone low. "It's like . . . it's like watching the way Trixie looks at Speed sometimes when she thinks no one is looking. She glances at his butt real quick then stares at him like she's a little puppy or something. I tell you, I never thought I'd ever see Torie reduced to puppy status."

"Then it's a good thing Ryan loves her then, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Sparky replied, settling into the bed. "A very good thing. It makes me happy watching them."

"You're crazy."

"Seriously, it does," Sparky said. "I mean, if they can be right back to where they were six years ago, it makes me think Speed and Trixie can do the same thing. You know what I mean?"

888888888

It was nearly midnight, but Speed could not sleep. He lay flat, keenly aware of the fact the only other people in his home were Sparky and Janine. Ryan and Torie had the kids in their home, and Trixie had actually return to her apartment with her son, saying she needed to spend at least one night there, or her landlord would wonder what had happened to her. Without her there, Speed knew he was in for a lonely night.

In a way, Speed was glad Trixie had returned to her apartment for the evening. His solitude for the night afforded him a chance to think and to reflect and to hopefully sort a few things out.

He already intended to fight Taylor for Trixie. Speed had already decided as much, even though he knew his girlfriend was not going to leave him ever again. Trixie loved him, and he loved her. She also had promised him she was not going anywhere, but the situation was too eerily similar to what had happened seven years before. A part of Speed did not trust Trixie or believe she would keep her promise. She had been manipulated once into thinking he was with another person in another city when he had been home the entire time. The voice of doubt whispered it could happen again, and Speed did his best to silence his worry as ruthlessly as possible. To distract himself from his morbid thoughts, Speed glanced at the calendar hanging by the bedroom door.

Valentine's Day was only a few days away, and Speed smiled. Thanks to Ryan's persistence, he had everything he needed to make the day perfect and memorable for Trixie, and he knew what Ryan had in mind for Torie. Ryan's plans were finally starting to give Speed some inspiration of his own, and he decided he would call Ryan first thing in the morning.

In the meantime, he just had to conquer his insecurities . . .


End file.
